OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
