I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize