I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
it's like iHOP with fire
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
