do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
