all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
