it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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