apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
