We're like a lot better than the average bears
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
