Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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