i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
