We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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