I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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