; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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