Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You ruined the universe
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
