So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
