my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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