would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
