"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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