get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
