Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
