I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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