Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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