okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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