Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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