I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
