his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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