they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You are a genius and a whore.
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