he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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