I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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