Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
