So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
