I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize