how can u be prego again
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
