I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
