Do vagina's smell?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
