its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
