He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
