Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
