i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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