are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm sobbing to NWA
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
