Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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