Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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