Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
