his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
