Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
