I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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