so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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