Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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