Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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