You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
