wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I bet he comes in French.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize