He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
