I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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