I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he puts the penis in happiness.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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