I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
