Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
