Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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