I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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