Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize