we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
